ln 1945 the United States dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima.
ln 1964 America became involved in the Vietnam War.
ln 1976 America launched the first space shuttle.
And brought it back to Earth successfully.
ln 1983 Britain went to war with Argentina over the Falkland lslands,
unleashing the horror of missile warfare.
However, none of these has anything to do with the story that follows.
Executive Producer: Cho Yan-yuk
Produced by: Sammo Hung Kam-po
Line Producers: Chen Chi-wai, Wong Pin-yiu
Assistant Producers: Cho Ken-nan, Cheung Chi-leng
Director: Sammo Hung Kam-po
Hey!
- Give me a hand. - Morning, Brother.
l cook breakfast every Wednesday morning.
But it'll be your job from tomorrow.
So you better find out what they like. Know what l mean?
- What about drinks? - They all like Pepsi Cola! Here.
- Good morning. - Morning.
Who wants to challenge me?
- We all will. - Yeah! Let's see how good you are.
- Yeah. - Sure.
Watch it!
You're soaking me!
Watch what you say in front of those guys, understand?
l see what you mean now.
- Did you hear the door? - Yeah.
Open the door, then!
Hi, Barbara. Nice to see you. Come in.
- Fellows, look who's here. - Barbara, how are you?
Breakfast? Aren't you ready yet?
- Ready for what? - Going to Pattaya!
When l phoned l told you, we're leaving one day earlier.
- Phone call? - Sure, Herbert took the call.
What? l didn't want you to go.
l'm leaving tomorrow, so l want you to stay with me today.
lf you can get ready in five minutes, maybe we can still make it.
Wait for me!
Barbara. See you soon?
Easy.
Hello, l'm your guide on this tour and my name is Larry!
Nice to meet you.
Thank you for joining our tour.
Now we're going to Pattaya beach resort.
We'll be arriving there in about two hours.
Oh, no! Two hours before we get there?!
So we'll have to put up with his gibberish for two hours.
He's very boring!
We can play games with you!
Do you want to play hide-and-seek on this bus?
Juveniles.
Don't forget your bags! We get off here.
Here we are. This way!
- lt's gorgeous! - Let's go swimming!
Yeah!
- Can you swim? - Over there, come on.
- Swimming? Let's follow them! - Let's go.
l'll put some cream on you.
- Fast Buck. - Hi!
You can do it.
Come on!
- Do they think l'm your girlfriend? - l guess so.
Let me confess how l feel about you.
Rawhide told me - love's such a special emotion.
Love is the ultimate feeling.
Fast Buck...
l've never loved you.
And l never will.
This is how l feel about you.
Last time l wanted you...
to come with me to save Muscles's life.
That was why l said l admired you a lot.
l am sorry for...
giving you the wrong hint.
l shouldn't have said those things to you.
l hope you can forgive me for this.
Don't take it too hard.
We can still be friends.
Fast Buck?
How do girls rate men who dig a tunnel to chat them up?
We've made it! We're there, Come on, hurry!
Are you sure we're going the right way?
Of course! l can even feel their body heat through the sand!
lf it wasn't for you, l would've had them in my arms already. Quiet!
l'll keep quiet. Sorry!
l'll give all of you a taste of how l feel.
Help!
lt's an earthquake.
- lt's an earthquake! - Why did it collapse?
Sorry!
What are you doing?
You fat louse, you always ruin everything!
Hi! Having a good time, you big spenders?
We ain't big spenders.
l told the girls you're high rollers!
Why?
Those girls want to know about you. l told them you're rich businessmen.
- Yeah, you're right. - Well, we better be loaded.
- What are you talking about? - We must be rich to pay the bill!
Shut up, you stupid boy. Sandy, put a sock in his mouth.
- Hi. - Please sit down.
We scored.
What do you mean?
The Dow-Jones rose and there's a new share issue, so we scored.
- Did you make any money? - No, we've got no shares.
- Order food! - Right, order some.
You get some, we've eaten already. But the food here's no good.
You might have had enough, but we haven't.
Order anything you like - the seafood's really good here.
So that guy falls down.
lt's really funny.
- Miss, we... - Tell us more jokes, come on.
Are you sure?
- l really like your jokes. - Come on.
OK, l'll continue.
Roundhead, l want a word with you first.
Let me grope her when she laughs.
Try this, a boy and his girlfriend are in the park one evening,
the boy looks very sad.
The girl says ''why so sad? Let me make you happy.''
He replies ''how?''
She whispers ''with one hand l can make you extremely happy.''
He thinks a while and says ''no''.
So the girl says
''maybe with both hands l can make you forget your troubles.''
So the boy thinks again and says ''better not.''
So she says, ''l'm sure l can make you happy
''with both hands and my tongue together.''
He can't say no to that and she goes like...
- You're hurting me. - So what!
- Your turn now. - l can't tell jokes!
You don't get off that easily.
Come on, it's your turn to tell jokes.
- l want you to tell us a joke, now! - OK, l'll try.
There's a girl called Joan of Arc disguises herself and goes to war.
That's it.
lt's not funny at all.
- Jokes are supposed to be funny. - l don't know any!
Come on, tell us a joke, or l'll break your legs.
He's crying, he can't tell jokes. Let me tell you a joke.
Let's hear it, but remember, it must be short and funny.
This dumb guy goes on his first date and forgets his pants.
l knew you were going to do that.
- Right, pay up, we're going. - Let's go to the disco.
No way! We know your game, you've been groping us all night.
Dancing with you? Forget it.
She's right. Thanks for the lobster, and the jokes.
- We better go. - Yeah, while we're still friends.
Don't leave just yet!
- Who's gonna pay the bill? - lt's not my fault they left!
- lt is your fault! l'll beat you up. - lt's your fault.
- Stop! - Come back here! You little...
Sir!
- Did you find the soothsayer? - Yes, sir. We'll meet you at 6am.
Good!
- Your bill, sir. - He'll pay.
- That guy over there. - Thank you.
This is it. You'll have to go in yourself.
Who's gonna be my interpreter?
He speaks your language better than you.
- So be careful with what you say. - Rubbish!
- Good luck. - You wait here for me!
- That depends. - Depends on what?
lt'll depend on what happens.
lf he puts a curse on you, you'll be bleeding non-stop.
And my boat will be gone.
Sir, your magic's great and l wish to learn.
- l... - Cut it out. Cash first.
lt's foreign currency, but it's just as good.
All money is good, only men are bad.
But there is good or bad magic.
- Which one would you like to learn? - What's the difference?
Good magic helps folks. Bad magic's the opposite.
- l'll learn bad magic, then. - Good. A wise choice.
l'm fresh out of good magic.
Tell me, why do you wanna learn magic?
l'd say you would use it to pick up women.
Right, and their money, too!
At least you're honest.
l can tell just by looking at you.
- But how do you know that? - This is what they say -
he who is blind is cunning, he who is deaf is evil.
l don't fit in either of them.
l haven't finished, he who is skinny is pretentious,
he who has long chin is randy.
So l'd say you are a two-timing lecher.
Since you're very keen, l think you'll learn it very quickly.
OK.
Shirt off.
Compose your thoughts, cover your waist,
keep your eyes to the front and hold your breath.
What? Stop breathing?
Woman, get ready.
Get up, it's over.
- That was quick. - lt's not like the old days now.
Now, think of any woman that you desire,
then stick the pin in the doll, say ''two hearts in one,''
and she'll give herself to you.
Are you sure? Will it work?
You can try it now. Woman!
Two hearts in one, two hearts in one...
- Who were you thinking of? - You, of course.
What? Are you gay?
No way - l wanna see if it works!
You mean you don't trust me?
Not at first, but l do now!
l did it!
- What are they talking about? - Can you hear?
Are you sure it works?
Will it work on any woman?
l'm not betting on it. You better not mess it up.
And l know how to chat up women better than you.
l agree - it could be a disaster. Bad magic, is it foolproof?
Shut up or l'll kill you!
Forget about him, just tell us how this works.
l use the pin, say the words and the woman's mine.
- They're gonna try magic on us. - We'd better not go in there.
l don't think they know anything about magic.
Let's teach them a lesson.
We'll try their magic.
- lt might work. - Then you might score.
You might!
Here come the girls. Open the door!
Welcome to our humble lodgings. Please come in.
What a welcome, this must be some kind of a trap.
What have you in mind - marijuana, cocaine or brandy?
Of course not!
- How do you know that? - Keep your mouth shut.
How do you like this little dolly?
- lt's gorgeous! - Can l have a look?
Let me see! She's beautiful.
- She looks like you! - Really?
Yeah, she does.
ls there anything special about it?
lt is special - look, there's another one here!
He's staring at you.
Come on, we'll show you some good stuff.
- Come on. - Look, it's over there.
l love you. Two hearts in one.
The one in red.
Honey... Darling...
One more time.
Macho man...
Are you crazy?
- Hold it. Have you ever been dumped? - l haven't even been in love before.
Now, you're in trouble, falling in love with me.
l love you.
Sandy, don't be so selfish!
Don't you dare insult him!
Stop! Don't hurt him, or l'll dump you!
Please don't!
Why am l holding you?!
- Great. - You were all over him.
- What was that? - Why didn't you stop me?
Let me try.
Friends don't count when there's broads.
- Selfish creep. - You want them all?
- You bet. - What about me?
He's got all of them!
Take it easy. One by one.
Come on in.
Lucky bastard.
- Did you hear that? - lt works!
Well, anyone else know bad magic?
What about you?
- No, l don't know. - No?
- lt's your friend's. - lt's your friend's.
Let's take a look.
l'm sorry, l won't do it again - l promise!
l won't do it again. l swear l'll behave.
Are we still going for lunch?
Yes?
Superintendent!
Fast Buck!
Fast Buck?
l got a call from Superintendent Cho.
An informer has some valuable information for the department.
- Will you give me some backup? - No way.
Fast Buck, look at me.
What, you wanna tell me you see only me in your eyes?
l don't. lt's not that at all.
l wanna see how a brave man like you became such a coward.
l'm not a coward.
l just don't want to be deceived or used again.
Right. When l needed some help you were the one l turned to.
l'm very disappointed.
But l know...
even if l get killed, l'll die with no regrets.
l'll tell you something, it's one thing to help your true love,
but to help someone in return for her love is another thing.
Understand?
''Understand?''
Ready?
Let me.
He's over there! Hurry!
Where did you send the letter?
To Hong Kong.
Where in Hong Kong?
Let's take him to hospital first.
Too late, he's dead.
At least you managed to kill him,
though he was picked up by that boat.
No need. My men will fix it.
l want you to kill a man in Hong Kong.
His name's Lau, here's some background.
And collect a registered letter from this address.
We found the receipt for the letter in the bastard's room.
lt may contain evidence of our operation.
We're killers, we're not postmen.
All right, make sure you kill whoever the letter was sent to.
That will make sure the letter is useless.
Girls, who are you looking for?
Sorry, l don't understand.
You're not girls!
Hey, is this a kung fu lesson?
l'm a kung fu master, maybe you'll recognise my style.
Let me teach you.
Fast Buck, are they broads?
l haven't found out.
Good job l know how to dance, or l'd have fainted already.
Sorry, the dance is over.
- What's going on? - We must get back to Hong Kong.
- Really?! - Yes, and you better hurry!
- The others are having a massage. - Just go get them!
When we're together, don't you feel secure?
What's that?
OK, it's me that feels secure.
Cut out the nonsense and start packing.
Be careful. Don't miss anything.
Yes, boss.
- Don't worry, boss. - We can handle it, boss.
No fishing here - go away!
OK, we're just leaving!
Look out!
Freeze!
Police!
How many can you take with six bullets?
Don't move!
Freeze! What about 18 bullets?
Do you have 18 men here?
See? Hit the jackpot first time out together.
You bet. Smooth as silk. No wonder they call you ''Lucky''.
You! Don't move!
Don't move!
Freeze!
Get over there! All on that side!
Get him!
Hold it! Don't move!
Come on, you'd have to be a klutz to miss from this range.
At least we'll die together. What do you say, officers?
Don't move!
What now?
Empty your guns so they're no use to them.
- Do we have to use our fists? - Do you know how to scrap?
- Yeah, but only two at a time. - l'll beat that, l can handle three.
- What about the rest? - Come on, prove you can take nine.
Get them!
Take him!
Freeze! Police! Don't move!
Don't shoot, it'll go up in flames.
Don't move, police!
- All right, book 'em! - Yeah, come on.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say may be used in evidence.
Have you got anything to say? Take them away.
Move it.
Flowers are cheap today, cheaper than yesterday.
Who's there? Show your lD card. Do you hear me?
May l ask...
No questions. Don't bother me. You're paid, so buzz off!
l don't need whatever you're selling!
Please open up, mister.
What a beautiful voice. l wonder what she looks like?
l told you it would work, it always does, right?
What is it? A message for me?
l know my rights. You need a warrant.
Cool it, we have a warrant. Here, take a look.
lf you like, call HQ, they'll explain.
We're from Special Branch, Hong Kong police.
l'm lnspector Woo, and my partner, Rick.
Sorry, must be sure. Can't tell cops from robbers these days.
Do you live here alone?
No, l rent a room to an opera colleague, Chi-chi Wang.
lt's her we're looking for.
l don't know if she's up.
- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong!
She's changing - if l didn't scream she'd think l was peeping!
l think you peep at her everyday.
- You... - What's up?
- Sorry. - You creep!
- Are you Chi-chi Wang? - Yes.
We want a word with her alone.
So take a walk, or go and get a haircut.
Don't give me that crap! We're like brother and sister.
We share our problems.
Miss Wang may be involved in a murder.
- What? - l will take a walk.
You can't leave now.
- What murder did you say? - Melvin Ma was murdered in Pattaya.
- Melvin was murdered? - That idiot!
l wouldn't speak ill of the dead.
l'm still a happy man, doesn't matter if he's dead or alive.
- His death... - Shut up!
Watch your manners. Do you want me to co-operate?
lf you want to be co-operative, then keep your mouth shut!
l can't! What about my bad breath? My mouth needs some ventilation.
Miss Wang, we'd like to know if Mr Ma wrote to you recently.
Yes, he usually sent one or two letters a week.
But we were just friends.
Would you show us the letters? They may hold a clue.
All right, l'll get them for you.
But if you want to learn about writing love letters
a writing guide offers better value.
Ma was absolutely disgusting!
He described women as ashtrays,
''You're my ashtray, l'm a cigarette perched on your rim.''
''Be patient, l'll soon drop into your arms.''
Don't you think that's disgusting?
So you read her letters?
They're all here.
- ls this all of them? - They're all l have.
l don't think it's arrived.
Miss Wang, apart from us,
there are some crooks also interested in a letter from him.
Really?!
l told you that Ma was up to no good. See? Now we're in trouble!
lt's too dangerous to stay here.
So we think you should move out.
Move out? Where to?
Where?
We'll put you in a safe place. Please go and pack some clothes.
That goes for you, too.
No. lt's my home, l was born here. l'm not moving out.
lf you don't, you will die here.
What? Who'd wanna kill me?
They don't play games. They're killers.
They're animals, then. l can outsmart them.
- Man is a superior creature... - Shut up and get ready.
lt's for your own good.
Don't you worry, l can manage!
l've known how to take care of myself ever since my childhood.
Johnny, haven't you packed?
The devil himself couldn't scare me away!
You'll be safe to stay with me here, l'll protect you.
l think we should leave.
No. l'll stay here, to take your calls.
Barbara, can you two go downstairs first?
All right, come on.
Look, don't try using force, it won't work.
You could get hurt.
l'll show you how these crooks work people over.
What, you mean guns or kung fu?
- Are you trying to castrate Cho? - This is not castration.
He may become impotent, or constipated, or maybe both.
Concentrate. This doll's Superintendent Cho.
Checkmate.
Let's go over there.
How did it taste?
You can find out yourself. Those moves don't count.
Are you kidding? What game are you trying to play?
Listen, you need brains to play chess.
lf every move has to count, flip coins, then.
- l've had enough! - What's wrong?
Get out of the way!
Stop staring. And stop playing with toys.
Hide it!
- lt's a man. - So what?
You little bugger.
- No! - Come back here!
Please! Remember my foot, it's still hurting.
- One more word...and l'll kill you! - Come on.
- Who is it? - OK, l'll get it.
Make it a woman!
Sorry, Miss. Are you all right?
- ls this... - Yes! This is the right place.
You can even stay overnight - no problem.
What's your name? l'm Rome, short for Romeo.
- His real name is Rum... - My real name...
You see? You see?
- A girl, look! - You're all the same.
Barbara! We missed you! Where have you been?
- Did l say something wrong? - No, you're just stupid.
Can't you just shut up?
- Come on in. - Please come in.
Trading in the old for something new?
What? l've never been his girlfriend.
Only you know if it's old or new.
lf you want to break up then do it, don't leave it up in the air.
All right, l won't let other people use me again.
From now on it's me for myself. Everyone else comes second.
l didn't realise, you're actors. You sound really weird!
l mean, normal people don't speak that way.